yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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