it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
