dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
