so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
