what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
