The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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