Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
