Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
