Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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