..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
