i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
