Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
