shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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