Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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