I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
