$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
