I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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