I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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