my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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