You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
