So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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