either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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