I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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