i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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