I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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