so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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