NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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