I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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