I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
