I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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