...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
