i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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