I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
