So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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