just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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