I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
