So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
