New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
