those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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