do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
