Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
