I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
