1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize