WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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