tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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