and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
