It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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