Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
