Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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