He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
