can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Buhtt sex?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
